Jesus gets connected by a church in Histon, Cambridge

My Mum, Elena and I were waiting for the very infrequent bus into Cambridge when Elena spotted this alarming poster.

I knew that in the Bible Belt of the USA you could call -up Jesus on an 0800 toll free number ( he speaks pretty good English considering it’s a second language for him. I am indebted to The Texas Lounge Lizards for this information and its phrasing which you will find in their brilliant composition entitled Jesus loves me – but he can’t stand you! )

But a permanently on, wi-fi, interactive connection to Jesus is surely a terrifying prospect?

Do these religious enthusiasts know what they are doing?

How does Jesus feel about it?

Did anybody ask him?

Give the guy a break I say.

Remember, ‘Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow, yet they toil not, neither do they sow….’

Jesus believed in free time. Let’s give him some and switch off.

Remember too, as the Lounge Lizards’ so perceptively sing –

Jesus loves all his children its true – but that don’t mean he won’t incinerate a few!

I have no idea where I’m gonna go when I die – but I’d like a bit of peace and quiet.

Please.